Posts Tagged ‘Guesties’

Guesties: The Big Apple job hunt

Posted: June 2, 2014 by shawnfury in Guesties
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By Kolbe Nelson
Guest Blogger

All names have been changed in this story out of respect for privacy

I gotta say, Shawn Fury, one of the founders of this fine website, thinks I’m far more interesting than I actually am. He’s called me back here to put another entry in the TVFury chronicle of my time in New York City, which so far includes: how I wound up coming to the city and how I failed at making people laugh (complete with a terribly cheesy ending) once here. Today, in order to fulfill the new website mandate of one post every month or so (I’m so old, I remember when TVFury posted content every day), we’re talking about what may be the death knell for my time out here: my search for a broadcasting job.

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By Rich Jensen
Guest Blogger

Have you seen the NBA standings lately?

If you have, you already know where I’m going with this.

Why is the Eastern Conference so bad?

Well, let’s take a team-by-team and city-by-city look at the Eastern Conference, featuring the tremendous drawbacks of each city along with each team’s attempt to deal with those drawbacks. Because, let’s face it. If you’re a free agent, and you have your choice between Cleveland and Los Angeles. Or San Francisco. Or Portland. Or Denver. Or Dallas… Well, you get the picture…..

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By Rich Jensen
Guest Blogger

Did you know ESPN has this show called First Take? Okay. It’s on ESPN2. ESPN2 is a channel whose existence is predicated on the notion that ESPN has so much stuff you should see that they can’t fit it all onto one channel. This is difficult to comprehend, because having two ESPNs does not double the amount of hours in my day, so I still have to make choices, and if I choose what’s on ESPN2, then I can’t also watch ESPN, unless I stop watching ESPN2. And what if I have to go to the bathroom, people? Or have to eat? I worry that they haven’t thought this through because they also have ESPNNEWS and ESPN Classic and ESPN Deportes and ESPNU. Clearly, I can’t watch all of these channels at once. I’m not Elvis. And Elvis didn’t have enough TVs to watch all these channels at once. I also do not live in a sports bar.

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A felon, a college president and a mascot walk into a bowling alley…

By Rich Jensen
Guest Blogger

The NCAA wrote a letter to a bankruptcy judge on behalf of convicted felon Nevin Shapiro. In this letter, the NCAA said that they would consider hiring Shapiro in the future.

Predictably, this revelation has drawn outraged commentary and sarcasm.

It has undoubtedly made this woman angry — this woman in ill-fitting clam-diggers ogling a fifty-thousand dollar check in a bowling alley. This woman was a cabinet secretary under Bill Clinton. She holds a Ph.D. from Syracuse. She was the chancellor at the University of Wisconsin. She is now the president of the University of Miami. This is what college athletics has done to her. Here she cavorts with a soon-to-be-convicted felon and accepts $50,000 in stolen funds. Later she will accuse Mark Emmert of failing to act responsibly when the briefest of inquiries into Shapiro’s background and habits would have been sufficient to render him persona-non-grata at any respectable university.

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By Kolbe Nelson
Guest Blogger

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I am absolutely not an expert on United States-North Korea Relations. I grew up watching Dennis Rodman play basketball though.

Dennis Rodman, the Dennis Rodman, is preventing World War III. That’s a text a friend sent me Thursday. While his statement is drenched in hyperbole, he may have a point.

Rodman, along with a TV crew and, completing the trifecta of strange awesomeness, three members of the Harlem Globetrotters, visited North Korea, a country veiled in secrecy and untrusted by much of the world. Maybe stranger, they became the personal guests of dictator Kim Jong Un, who has enjoyed both basketball and booze with the American contingent. Most of me thinks it’s an awful idea sending an often unpredictable basketball player (part-time pro wrestler) to a country veiled in secrecy and possibly capable of nuclear warfare, but part of me thinks it might be a good start.

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By Kolbe Nelson
Guest Blogger

Ever since I was little, I’ve been infatuated with the art of comedy. I absorbed everything from reruns of Saturday Night Live on Comedy Central to the infomercials for the Best of Johnny Carson. When I was in 6th grade I used the money I earned from detasseling corn (I REALLY AM A SOUTH DAKOTA BOY!) to buy an old 19” TV and a VCR. I used those tools nightly to record episodes of The Late Show with David Letterman and Late Night with Conan O’Brien and I would review the shows over and over out of pure enjoyment. Unless my mom has thrown them out, you could probably still find some of those old tapes in my closet back home in Alcester.

It may shock many of you, given the information provided in that last paragraph, but right up through high school, most of my friends were not hot girls. That was ok, though. I managed to convince myself that love and sex would be too big a distraction from my duties as a spot-starter on the JV basketball team.

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By Rich A. Jensen
Guest blogger

Editor’s note: The following is a fictional account of something that may or may not happened  in real life. Think of it as a written episode of “Law & Order.” Again, this is complete and total speculation. Not real. Got it? (Fiction.)

“That’s not what the money was for,” muttered A, even though there was no one in the office to overhear him. Not that he was worried about being overheard. The people he allowed into this office, he thought, were people that he paid too well, that he treated too well to betray his trust.

He had just spoken with Lance Thomas, the basketball player he’d sponsored for the past four years. There was no written agreement, of course, just an understanding between himself and a handful of other Duke alums. ‘We’ll take care of these guys.” (more…)


(Last week, when I wrote about my travails in one-on-one basketball, I mentioned my uncle Emilio DeGrazia, who routinely defeated me on the court when I was growing up. Emilio, a retired English professor from Winona State University in Minnesota, still plays ball. As I noted in the piece, he’s probably the best over-70 player in the world. Emilio is currently writing a memoir about his connection to basketball — or, to be more accurate, his addiction to the game. Below is an excerpt from the book. Emilio, 71, is the author of several books, including the highly acclaimed Billy Brazil, Enemy Country, Seventeen Grams of Soul and A Canticle for Bread and Stones. He’s also the poet laureate of Winona. If you’re ever in Winona, stop by his house and spend an evening with Emilio and my aunt Monica. They’ll welcome you to their porch, provide great food and better company. And if you face him on the court, look out for that jump shot — it’s a killer.)

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By Dan Frasier
Guest blogger

Dear football players, past and present:

Stop digging! You have put the NFL and the future of the game we love in a giant hole, and you can’t seem to stop yourself from digging. We think it’s heinous and pervasive. We don’t believe you, and this sport will go away if it doesn’t change.

The recent revelations about the Saints bounty program and all the topics it has spawned has opened up a line of discussion that football didn’t want to have. Moreover, the people that are front and center in leading the NFL’s side of the discussion are ex-players who seem to have little to no understanding of the implications of their remarks. Worse yet, they don’t grasp the massive ramifications of these remarks. They are putting the sport at risk of becoming irrelevant or even extinct. (more…)


By Rich Jensen
Guest blogger

The NCAA tournament selection and seeding process will never be perfect. There is simply no perfect way of evaluating teams that play only a small subset of each other, and especially when the difference in resources available to teams enables some teams to barely stir from home arenas for months at a time while others end up traveling more than the Harlem Globetrotters.

However, there is a clear and simple way to remove a significant source of bias in the selection process:

Use a blind.

In clinical tests, doctors are not allowed to know whether they are administering drugs or placebos to patients, because knowing this would affect the way patients are treated and would taint the data. (more…)