Mercury is in retrograde? Oh.

Posted: October 30, 2013 by shawnfury in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Hell of a week for the female half of the New York City Fury household. Louise missed a flight to Florida, made a flight to Florida, had her Macbook Air die in Florida. Returned to New York for a week that included dealings with the paparazzi, Opie & Anthony, Howard Stern and TMZ. Went to the Apple Store on the Upper West Side of New York City and waited three hours while the Apple Geniuses — that’s what they’re called, it’s not a Sid Hartman insult — informed her everything was lost. Two days later, after reinstalling some programs, the Macbook — which is only 11 months old — died again. The next day’s return trip to the Apple Store included several more hours of waiting but no chance to chat with the Geniuses. That night, Sunday night, Louise finally discovered what was behind all the drama, debacles and computer crashes.

“Mercury is in retrograde. Of course!”

And so it was and, apparently, still is. Now, Louise doesn’t totally think something like that could really be controlling her universe or be the reason for her horrible week but it gave her a small bit of comfort to realize that maybe everything did make sense. Maybe it was Mercury’s fault (or does Mercury not have control of itself when it goes into retrograde? I’m not totally familiar with the laws.). A year ago, a friend of hers who really does buy into all of that, warned Louise about signing a contract while Mercury was in retrograde and they actually delayed their dealings for a few weeks.

This of course means nothing. At least that’s what I think. Mercury had nothing to do with it. But it can prove entertaining wondering…what if? On Huffington Post, Linda Lauren — psychic medium, travel psychic, author — wrote, “Back up your computer files regularly because Mercury wreaks havoc with any form of technology, whether that is a computer or a toaster oven.”

Seems so broad. I think most people would be okay with a toaster failing compared to a machine that contains all of their work and countless items from their personal lives. Apparently Mercury cuts a wide swath of destruction.

The planets aren’t alone. The stars do their thing too. My car pool driver is a big believer in horoscopes and is always telling me why a potential boyfriend of hers won’t work out because the stars say he’s not compatible with her, a Libra. When some guy does prove to be a loser and she uses it as proof that the signs know all, I say it’s more of a self-fulfilling prophecy. She expected the guy — a Taurus or a Scorpio or an Aries or a whatever — to live down to her expectations. She wanted it to fail so she could cling to her belief in a higher celestial power.

When I talk about something out of my own life, she’ll say, “Yep, that’s because you’re a Gemini.”

No it’s not. Is it? Are we all just puppets on strings? I enjoy poking holes in her theories, she enjoys jumping on anything that proves her belief in astrology has some basis in reality (for the record, she is not a big believer in things like mercury being in retrograde but respects those who do).

Now I have my own things I overanalyze and spend too much time pondering, things that probably have no real effect on our lives. Dream interpretation being the main one. I love picking apart each evening’s brain movies, searching for what it all means. Teeth falling out, driving a car that’s spinning out of control, only having one shoe as a basketball game starts — and it’s four sizes too small — what’s it mean for when I’m actually awake? Why can I fly in my dreams and because I often have lucid dreams, what’s it mean that I know I’m flying and can control what I’m doing and how far I want to go up into the sky and when I want to come down? Is it really more valid to contemplate those questions than ones surrounding the stars and birth date? I think so, but maybe I need to get more in tune with the universe, and not just what’s in my head.

Mercury continues in retrograde — is that even the correct phrasing? — for about a week and a half. I guess we just have to be careful. Don’t sign contracts? Avoid appliances? On the other hand, things have turned. Apple took pity on Louise and replaced the broken computer. The stars seemed to be aligned for us. If you believe in that.

  1. Rich Jensen says:

    “Mercury in retrograde” means that the Earth is catching up to and passing Mecury, so that Mercury is no longer ‘ahead’ of Earth, but is either ‘alongside’ or ‘behind’ Earth (what happens is that the planets no longer move forward against the celestial backdrop from night to night, but begin to move backward).

    In the Ptolomaic system (where the Earth was believed the center of the universe), the apparent retrograde motion of the planets caused all kinds of issues, which led to the introduction of epicycles, and various other props to explain away the difference between the theory and reality.

    Copernicus, of course, came up with a better explanation, and Kepler a better one still, and so here we are today, with only astrologers making a big deal of such things–where a computer failure is occasionally due to the interference of the stars and planets, and the rest of the time is ‘just one of those things.’

    The fault, dear Fury, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we have computers

  2. shawnfury says:

    Well that’s good to know. I wonder what Mercury being in retrograde screwed up before we had computers then. Or electricity? The cows weren’t producing enough milk. “Mercury’s in retrograde.”

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