A Minnesota sports dad talks sports

Posted: May 8, 2013 by shawnfury in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Guest post
Author: An Anonymous Minnesota Sports Dad who’s seen it all
Age: 50-75
Occupation: Insurance salesman/farmer/grocery store owner/bar owner/factory worker/high school teacher/bank manager/mechanic
Writing influences: Larry King

You can’t tell me the Vikings wouldn’t have won a Super Bowl under Burnsie, if only he hadn’t been so god damn loyal to Bob Schnelker. Ya gotta get Steve Jordan more involved in the offense, especially at the goal line.

Drew Pearson is still saying he didn’t push off? Jesus Christ. I suppose Nate Wright just went flying like that because he felt like it.

You shouldn’t hate anyone. Except Ron Davis.

Why doesn’t anyone steal home like Rod Carew anymore?

Timberwolves never should have fired Bill Musselman. What did they expect him to do, try not to win?

Say what you will about the funding, but I really think the Metrodome going up is going to help the Gophers get back on the road to the Rose Bowl. What other school has that type of facility?

Vikings were a lot better when they played in the cold. They’ve gone soft in the Metrodome. Everything changed when they moved in there.

How in the hell are the Twins supposed to play home games in April and October in this godforsaken state without a dome? Dumb idea ever leaving the Metrodome. And they lost the best homefield advantage in baseball.

Someone want to explain why we never throw on first down?

Kevin McHale wasn’t even the best player at the state tournament his senior year. Maybe the Wolves should have hired Lingenfelter.

I’d rather avoid the highway. We’ll take the side roads there.

Did you see Sid’s column?

God, Bremer’s terrible.

I’ve got 9 grandkids and can remember the names of half of them — the 11-year-old, the one with the weird haircut, goofy-looking, never remember his — but I’ll remember Edgerton’s 1960 starting lineup until the day I die: Veenhof, Verdoes, Kreun, Wiarda and Graphenteen.

No I didn’t see the ending, fell asleep.

Why don’t we ever blitz on third down?

Why can’t anyone block a field goal like Matt Blair used to do every week?

Heeey, Timberwolves dancers. Huh? Oh, yeah.

Barry Wohler might have been the best athlete this state ever produced.

NFL Films still show that Hank Stram matriculating down the field clip? No way that Vikings team should have lost that game. And to lose to that cocky SOB…

No one had stronger hands than Joey Browner.

You’d think the Gophers had never seen a zone defense before. Seriously, why the hell can’t they run an offense against a 2-3?

Jim Kaat was best fielding pitcher you’ve ever seen.

It’s a travesty Kent Hrbek didn’t win more Gold Gloves.

Aiding the runner. Seriously. The Vikings are the only team in the history of the NFL to have that called against them, except for that time Fridge literally carried Walter Payton. You’re telling me the NFL isn’t out to get the Vikings?

I don’t even know why in the hell I even follow these teams anymore. What’s the point?

What time are the Twins on?

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Comments
  1. Tim Ward says:

    Outstanding. I can certainly identify with all of these.

    • shawnfury says:

      Many more could have been added, of course. One that I definitely missed, courtesy of my uncle: “(Twins player) must have pictures of Gardy or something. Not sure why else he plays.”

  2. SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHY CAN’T ANYONE BLOCK KICKS LIKE MATT BLAIR ANYMORE

  3. Jerry says:

    I can’t believe there was no mention of Denny Green taking a knee, Tony Oliva not being in the Hall of Fame or Norm Green’s ownership of the North Stars. But I could relate to all that were listed.

  4. Travis G says:

    When did you talk to my dad?

  5. Mike says:

    “Greatest dunker I ever saw? Dave Winfield.”

  6. […] MINNESOTA SPORTS DAD TALKS SPORTS TVFury got lucky this year when a Minnesota sports dad agreed to share his thoughts. […]

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