What am I thankful for? That Thanksgiving is over. Not to sound like a Scrooge or anything, but it’s sort of an overrated holiday – especially the food. If I could choose any food on which to center a feast, turkey – even the fried kind – would be no higher than eighth.

Plus, I’m bitter that my attempts to start a new holiday joke – pretending to confuse tryptophan (the stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy) with propofol (the sleeping drug linked to Michael Jackson’s death) – were rebuffed. Come on, man!

Now, The Tapes …

* No, I did not partake in any early morning shopping on this blackest of Fridays. But I thought about it. Why? Because the madness started at midnight this year, and I’m usually awake then, anyway. In fact, that’s when I do most of my grocery shopping. It’s not as terrible as you might think, although there are usually a few assorted characters either shopping or working at those times.
In case you do plan to partake, here’s Yahoo’s list of the best deals of the day.

Nothing says Merry Christmas like running over chumps at 5 a.m. to buy a new gun.

* The story of former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky continues to grow more sordid as new allegations have come out. There’s so much coverage that it’s hard to sift through. So let me help: This timeline – yes, timeline – offers new insight and helps organize some of what has gone on in chronological order. It’s an effective use of non-linear journalism.
Plus, it proves that I do occasionally read stories that are more than 15 inches long and devoid of drawings.

* And now let’s restore some normalcy by linking to a bit about Kelly Osbourne throwing a raging birthday party – replete with unicorn – for her new BFF and fellow second-generation star Hannah Montana Miley Cyrus. I hope – nay, demand – my daughters grow up to be just like them.

* Fury here. If you missed Patrick Reusse’s annual, beloved Turkey of the Year column, here you go. I’ll admit, the inclusion of a certain football coach at St. John’s stung. The winner’s a bit of an upset.

* New York Magazine put together a couple of insane packages on Saturday Night Live. They watched every episode since 1975 – 7,798 sketches – for a research project that took more than a year. They figured out the 25 most repeated characters on the show and present it in slideshow form. The magazine also tried figuring out the most original season. In other words, when did they rely the least on recurring characters. Here’s the PDF with the results.

* I’m going to share perhaps my favorite YouTube video of all time, which just happens to also be a piece of Lakers propaganda. This is a mix put together by a guy who goes by the moniker nonplayerzealot. He’s a Lakers fan I’ve emailed with occasionally and he has an amazing collection of old Lakers games. He took those, sifted through them, and edited the following video, which is the definitive Magic Johnson mix on the Internet (that praise can be on the poster). And it all has the original broadcasts from Chick Hearn. For too long, fans of 1980s basketball have only been able to see the same Magic highlights we’ve seen so often through the years. Some of those are here – like the famous winning shots against the Celtics. But many of these have never been online before.

It’s a long video. But it’s 15 minutes of basketball perfection, especially the first eight or nine minutes, which include his best passes.

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