Facebook takedown?

Posted: October 31, 2011 by terryvandrovec in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Mayans:

First, got to be honest – I’m not sure if you exist anymore. But if you do, I hope you are well, have Web access and track down this entry. Why? Because I think you made a miscalculation in that whole end of the world thing. Hear me out before you go and cast a spell or throw me in a snake pit or whatever it is you do to infidels. (You do have infidels, right?)

Clearly, you’re pioneers in the rapture-prediction business – there’s no denying that. There have been a bunch of false alarms lately, and you had the gumption to predict that things would end in 2012, well, a long time before that. Plus, you don’t seem to have any sort of financial stake in the situation unless there’s some sort of “I went down in 2012” clothing line that we don’t know about. So you get extra credit for integrity.

However, I feel like you’re going to come up about two months short. See, there’s this group of Internet hackers (look it up) called Anonymous, and they claim to be preparing to take down Facebook (again, Google it – after looking up Google) on Nov. 5. Pretty sure that will bring an end to us all one way or another.

I mean, how would we be able to tell people what we were planning to have for lunch? What would we do with those pictures of dogs wearing sweaters? Develop them? Bo-ring. No more Farmville? That chaps my hide. Without a forum for making vague, passive-aggressive complaints about my life, I’d probably have to, you know, talk to family members and stuff. No thanks.

Of course, it remains to be seen if these Anonymous folks can be trusted. I mean, they’re also planning some sort of cyber-attack on Fox News the very same day. That seems pretty ambitious. Plus, there have been plenty of other doomsday prophecies (ahem, Harold Camping) and Facebook hoaxes (it remains a free service, unless you count the time it sucks out of you).
On the other hand, they do have a cool Web video – and if that doesn’t lend itself to credibility, nothing does – and a “V for Vendetta” vibe. That was a pretty sweet movie even though Natalie Portman had a shaved head.

So, again, pretty sure God’s green Earth is going to explode or implode or maybe melt in a mess of emotional rants, animated jokes and digital pictures that have no where to go. To be clear, I hope that’s not the case because life is cool. So is Facebook. So are you guys. I mean, my oldest daughter is named Mya, for crying out loud. That’s a fairly solid endorsement, no?

In closing, maybe you’ll be vindicated yet. Perhaps the world will fall to pieces sometime in 2012 just as you predicted. That would be rad, although a bit unfortunate since you would be unable to hold the best “I told you so” ever over the heads of the Incas or the ancient Greeks or those jerks you went to high school with. Fingers crossed. Good talk, Rust.

Sincerely,
Uncle T-Bone.

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Comments
  1. Mark says:

    Interesting, I hadn’t heard of anonymous before.

    Thanks Uncle T-Bone!

  2. CFranko says:

    This article is a as a matter of fact passable one. Thank for stakeing such great bumf out. Ill deff be driving by more frequently so i an observe whats original!

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